Is it actually possible to write to avoid writing? It struck me that maybe this is what I’ve been doing the past few days. I’m not sure if it’s something I should worry about or not. I mean, writing something is better than not writing, isn’t it?
That’s the theory of most writers. Just write. It doesn’t matter what. What matters is that you put words on paper (or screen). I guess maybe I believe that sometimes. Still, I’ve had two weeks in which I could have made real progress on other projects, and I haven’t touched them. I haven’t submitted pages to be critiqued or written critiques for other people’s pieces. I haven’t written the book reviews my dad asked me to write for the newsletter he edits. The only things I’ve written are blog posts. And somehow, I’ve convinced myself that this is enough.
Because, the truth is, writing can be exhausting. Sometimes all a brain can handle is a few paragraphs at a time. Of course, there are other times when the ideas flow and hours pass in what seems like minutes. Maybe my brain was so much in need of a break that a blog entry a day is all it has been able to handle these past two weeks. Or maybe this is some kind of elaborate avoidance technique my mind has created.
Maybe the lesson here is that I’m in need in more discipline in my writing life. I know I’m capable of it, even during the times when I don’t have classmates or a critique group to keep me on a schedule. About a year and a half ago, I stopped taking books with me to appointments. Instead, I wrote poetry on the memo app on my phone while I sat in waiting rooms. Those waiting room poems weren’t the best things I’ve ever written, but it felt good to know I would have a certain amount of time to write on certain days.
I don’t have an answer. Maybe the blogs are enough. Maybe I should have done more. Maybe I just need to write through it and see where I come out in the end.
Tricky Realm of Normalcy 